


"Improving alien relations" sounds better than "a really nice hook-up"

by caprigender



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: F/M, Other, PWP, Reader-Insert, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, human reader, piv theres insertion here peeps, reader has a vagina but theres no reference to gender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 21:09:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9516377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caprigender/pseuds/caprigender
Summary: A human in power armor and a mech's human holoform walk into a bar.... is this a smutfic or a bad joke? (probably both)Kinda cutesy reader-insert pwp, use of second person pronouns and present tense mostly





	

It took you all of ten minutes to figure out the guy chatting you up at the bar was a hologram. Wouldn't have taken more than a few seconds if your helmet’s life recognition system had been online, but it had been a rough week. Scavenging in the local asteroid belt had proved more dangerous than you’d expected and a couple knocks to the head had a few of your key systems scrambled. In all honesty, you should've found a power armor mechanic in this port /before/ going to a bar but hey, again, rough fucking week.

You sip your drink through a straw and try your best to keep up with the stream of consciousness ramblings of your new friend (Swerve, mech name probably, but it could be wraxian) trying to guess what kind of life form he actually was. The first holoforms had been invented by cybertronians, that much you knew for sure, but there were plenty of species that used the technology. As much as the giant mechs insisted on keeping their fancy toys to themselves, they weren’t doing a terribly good job of it.

“-but then you see while Jetkick was trying to juggle having two dates on the same night at the same bar, Blitz didn’t even want to be on the date because of his earlier argument with Steelbite and Switch would have been fine with a night in watching movies. Anyways, that was a total trainwreck to watch happen.” He’s definitely cute, or at least the form he’s projecting is. Short and squishy, he’d be smaller than you even if you weren’t wearing mechanized stilts. Of course, that didn’t mean much when it came to his actual height. Might be taller than the building, itself. For all you knew his dick could be bigger than you are. You feel the heat rush to your face and take another sip of your drink, thankful for straws and helmets and not being so embarrassingly and obviously thirsty.

“Sounds like a lot to keep up with,” you respond, keeping your tone even somehow.

“It is a little bit, but I always know what’s really going on,” he looks nervous and motions down at your empty glass. “Can I buy you another? I mean, as long as we’re here and you don’t mind me talking your audials off.” You smile, not that he could see it, thankful you’re not the only one feeling a little awkward.

“Yeah, sure, it’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to be tonight.” How long had it been since you’d gotten laid?

“So it’s a-”

“Pink nebula, extra raspberry or… whatever fuckin berry is in this thing.” He freezes for a moment and you curl in on your glass, a little defensive, “What? It’s tasty and has a high alcohol content.”

“No no, uh, no judgement here just not sure why you’d be drinking an organic cocktail when…” It’s the longest silence in your conversation since he first sidled up and introduced himself and it dawns on you that he has no idea what species you actually are.

Your head hits the counter with a loud “clang” as you double over in laughter and out of the corner of your cam view you see his holoform blush bright red. He makes some rushed excuse to leave and starts to hurry away before you can stop him but, luckily for you, you’ve got an extra few feet of reach in this suit and manage to catch his arm before he gets too far. “Wait wait, I’m sorry I laughed, this is just really-” You stifle a snicker, “You came up in human holoform and started shamelessly flirting, I just thought you knew?”

He still looks embarrassed (and damn if that wasn’t a good look for him) but he does come back to the bar and sits down, “It’s kind of the standard holomatter setting. Homo sapiens template: friendly and non-threatening. They’ve got a lot of great shows, too.”

You snort, “Yeah, don’t I know it. The ‘friendly and non-threatening’ bit I mean. You gotta wear all of this shit-” you gesture at the power suit “-just to get taken seriously around here.” You remove your helmet and set it down on your lap, a real Eowyn-style “I am no mech” moment. You probably look like a mess, too, but Swerve doesn't seem to mind. He's staring.

“So, how'd you know I was using a holoform?”

You tap a finger to the bridge of your nose, “migraine right behind the eyes. Holomatter wasn't designed to be looked at for too long, you know?”

“Well it’s not the first time someone cute said I was giving them a headache,” he laughs but something about the tone isn’t convincing. You feel a tug on your heartstrings. Oh no. He’s cute and he’s sad and with 1 ½ drinks running through you all you really want is to lean over, pick him up and kiss him.

“Cute, huh?” You grin at him, “Cute like a puppy is cute or cute like you’d like to take me back to my ship and bend me over the nearest flat surface?”

Swerve’s face lights up bright red again and this time when he laughs it sounds real. “Sorry to say, sweetspark, but I don’t think the holo-avatars were designed for that.”

“Yeah, I didn't think they were,” you lean in, “I meant that maybe we could ditch the headache machine and try testing the limits of our creativity. You interested?”

He looks up at you and doesn't say a word, just kinda sits there with his mouth open and his eyes hidden by that blue visor. You wonder if maybe you misread some signals or went too far or, hell, maybe he’s just really grossed out by humans. You feel your face flush and go to backtrack out of this obvious mistake as soon as you can get the right words together (something about assumptions making an ass out of you and mptions and probably this whole damn bar given how the conversation was going) when he finally clears his throat and responds.

“Yeah, that sounds great”

[...]

Grossed out by humans? You think back to your earlier fears with a chuckle. He’s so eager to get you out of your armor that you realize his particular interest with your species probably doesn’t stop at your situational comedies. He watches with excited curiosity as you methodically power down and disengage from each piece, mesmerized by the way you seem to be shrinking before his very eyes. He babbles on about how small and delicate you look, about how fragile you must be. You can’t decide if that’s unsettling or not, the idea that he could probably snap you in half with minimal effort. You push thoughts of “delicate” from your mind and focus instead on “desired.”

You guide his hands to the fastenings of your flight suit. The clasps are too small for undressing you to be an easy task for him but he does get the hang of it soon enough. You shimmy out of the garment and it slips to the floor.

His hands touch you softly and much more carefully than you expected any mechs were capable of. Metal joints clink as they knead against warm skin, sapping that heat away and causing you to shiver. Swerve’s got at least a foot of height on you, small for his species but still pretty big in comparison to humans. He leans in to kiss you and you stand on your toes to meet him halfway. His lips are cool and surprisingly soft. You idly wonder what transformers are even made of but soon find yourself distracted by the way his hands grasp at you, gaining confidence as you let out small moans and squeaks. 

You press up against him, your soft body molding to his hard metallic one. His torso is warm and faintly vibrating, you can hear the soft whir of cooling fans from this close

The height difference begins to make things awkward, there’s only so much he can stoop down and only so much you can go up and it’s hard for you to get a stable grip on him. You push him back to your room and realize he doesn't quite fit on your bed, carved into the wall to conserve space. Swerve laughs as you drag the mattress down onto the floor, sits down on it and leans back against the wall with a smile threatening to split his face in two. You straddle his lap and it’s definitely a stretch but you hear his cooling fans whir a little faster and feel the slightest vibrations running down through the thin cotton of your underwear and you decide its definitely worth being a little sore in the morning.

His hands grip your ass, pulling you a little tighter to the vibrations as he leans forward to catch your lips again. You whimper against his mouth,tilting your hips to rub against him. Your hands travel across the warm metal of his torso, tracing ridges, digging into divets. He rewards you with soft moans, twitching and humming underneath your fingertips.

You hear a small “clunk,” some kind of internal mechanism knocking around underneath you. “So is that a good sound?” You ask, trying not to seem alarmed. You’re not alarmed, really, this is just... new.

He laughs, “Yeah that’s business as usual. That’s actually gonna get a little uncomfortable if I leave it closed up, hang on.” He lifts you up off of his lap. You hear the whir and clank of machinery as panels are folded back and out of the way to reveal something much more familiar than you expected.

“Oh that’s neat, you’ve got a double set?” He looks surprised, maybe a little confused so you pull down the thin cotton of your panties and spread your legs again. “See, I’ve only got the one. You’ve got both a… well, whatever you call them.”

“Spike and valve,” he answers absently, reaching a hand up to brush against your folds. “Wow, I guess I knew this was the way it was with humans, but I didn’t really believe it?” He presses his thumb between your lips and drags the newly slicked metal up to your clit. Your hips jerk at the nudge against the nerve bundle and Swerve looks up at you in surprise. “Are you alright? Was that ok?” You nod and he returns to the area between your legs, softly stroking. “You’re leaking, that’s a good thing, right? It’s a good thing when my valve gets wet, makes a lot of things a lot easier, but is that the way it is for humans too?”

“Mhm,” you answer with a nod. You grab hold of his hand and pull it back. “Swerve, I’m gonna try something now and I need you to hold still for a little while, ok?” Swerve nods enthusiastically. His whole frame is rumbling and you want to feel those vibrations running through you as you ride his dick.

He’s thick, this is probably a little ambitious if you're being completely honest with yourself. Your hands are slick with lube as you stroke him, line him up and sink down. The vibration pulses inside you and his hands squeeze tightly around your legs. You learn forward against his chest, breathing hard and moving your hips. Slow and steady, you think to yourself, no need to rush. You’ve got more than enough time to do this right.

Swerve’s hands are flexing against you. They squeeze almost tight enough to bruise, release, relax, clench again. His arms are trembling a little bit. “... oh oh primus that’s tight,” You sink down an inch further, feeling another ridge slip inside you, stretching you taut but not painfully so. The vibrations echo through you and your breathing hitches.

He's babbling again, nervous and sweet. It fades into background noise as the white hot pleasure drowns out most of your coherent thoughts. Completely focused on the rumbling contact between you where your skin tingles. You make it to the base, legs trembling from the effort, clit pressed tight against the warm metal plating vibrating underneath you. That combined with the steady pulse of vibrations inside you has you closer to the edge than you expected you would be by now.

You bite your lip and begin to move again, grinding down against him, feeling the tightness as he shifts angles inside you. He breaks into a choked moan in the middle of a sentence, head tilted back, lights dimming behind his visor. His internal fans kick it up a notch and you feel a soft warm breeze against your face. Your fingers move to trace the vents on his chest, gently pushing between metal sheets. Swerve gasps again, his hips bucking up into you. You let out a yelp and he freezes, babbling apologies.

“N-no it's fine,” you reassure him, “I think I'm ready for you to start moving now. But just a warning, I'm not sure how long I'm going to last. You're ah…a little bigger than I'm used to and this vibration thing is getting to me.”

He chuckles and looks pleased with himself, “Bigger than you're used to,” he hums. He's gentle as he thrusts up, sending jolts of pleasure up your spine. The pressure of the vibrations ebbs and flows with his movements, giving you time to recover before it builds into something insistent again. Your muscles tense, it can't be more than a minute away. 

You squeeze your thighs tight around Swerve’s hips, the buzzing reverberates through those muscles too, pushing you closer. You double over, pressing your forehead into the plating on his chest. His spike is hard and unyielding. There's more give to him than a typical metal dildo, but it's much more solid than most silicone toys. The feeling is intense as your orgasm rolls through your body, the pressure of it that much more overwhelming.

His body flinches a bit as your muscles flex around him. “Oh f- did you just?” You nod, savoring the aftershocks as he continues to thrust, “oh slag that's… I'm close I just,” he grimaces, “I don't think I can without something in my valve do you have, I mean I don't, well if you don't have anything that's fine I just uh” 

You push yourself up on wobbly arms and lean over to your bedside table, legs shaking. You pull out your largest dildo. “Will this work?”

He nods, taking the silicone from you with one hand, the other arm reaching around to pull you down to lay against his chest. You collapse there against the hot metal, stretched tight, over-sensitive clit pressed to the vibrations. A soft whimper escapes your lips.

Swerve’s arm moves against your back, pumping the dildo in and out of his valve. You think you can almost hear the slick sounds of it over the roar of the fans. He bucks his hips up again and you cry out at the pressure. You're shaking, nerves still tingling, over stimulated to the point where it's getting uncomfortable. There's a feeling like static electricity building in your spine. You shiver but the feeling doesn't go away, in fact it seems to be growing, making the hair on the back of your neck stand out.

The static crackles, rushes through you as Swerve pulls you tighter against his chest, hips stuttering. Oh, you think to yourself, robot orgasm.

He pulls out of you and you shift your body, finding a way to stay close without continuing to torment your poor overused clit. He's still rumbling with vibrations, though the intensity does die down a bit as the two of you relax.

“That was fun,” he sighs. You smile and hum in agreement. His fingers tap nervously against your arm, you don’t think he knows he’s doing it. It’s actually a bit soothing so you let him tap away. “We’re probably gonna be in port for a few more days, picking up supplies, hanging around and getting into trouble…”

It’s a pretty transparent ploy for an invitation back. Cute. Still very cute. You press a kiss to the warm metal beneath your cheek. “Feel free to visit again, hotstuff. I’m on this planet for at least another galactic standard month. It’s always nice to have someone fun available.”

The fans in his chest kick up a notch. Robot blushing maybe? You grin and hope Swerve takes you up on the offer. There’s an awful lot you still have to learn about cybertronians and you always did learn best when your teachers were adorable and easily flustered.


End file.
